After the car saga from the other day, the car was found. It was even mostly intact!
From the looks of things, the thief had brought a bat (probably to break a window, if need be). They ended up not using it, opting instead to rip the handle off the door and toss the bat onto the floor. From there, they tore off the ignition cover and used a USB cable to steal the car. It pretty much follows the exploits pointed out on TikTok beat for beat.
The good news is, the car wasn’t severely damaged. Believe it or not, it’s still drivable — as long as you don’t mind having to open the door without a handle and start it up with a USB cable. The bad news is that this kind of theft is so common that it can take a long time to get replacement parts, so the car’s going to be out of commission for a while.
My Handsome Assistant had just gotten the car detailed literally days before this happened, so it was really disheartening to see how grungy it is. There was half a bag of Cheerios on the floor. Empty soda cans. A dirty hoodie. Also, an unopened bag of Takis.
For now, we’ve got a rental via the insurance company. As frustrating and upsetting as this experience has been, in retrospect it’s also really funny. They tried on the sunglasses, and still never found the tracking tile in the case, for crap’s sake. They took the car for a joy ride, smoked a bunch of weed, and apparently ate half a bag of dry Cheerios! There is a comically tiny Little League bat! I can’t not find this hilarious!
He left everything at the tow lot.
The Takis went uneaten. They weren’t opened or suspicious or anything, but it was the principle of the thing.
Marble Crow 
So the whole marketing scheme about how keyless cars are more secure is just another lie. Quelle surprise – and using a USB cable is (not to sound insensitive) just hilarious. Bring back muscle cars!
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Believe it or not, push button start cars are more secure! This exploit only works on keyed ignition cars that don’t have a kill switch installed. The thief takes off the ignition cover, then uses the end of a USB cable to physically turn the tumbler. It’s like when people used to steal cars with screwdrivers back in the day, lol.
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