The Knight of Wands Returns

September 16, 2019September 15, 2019 J.Leave a comment

The Crow Tarot might give me a lot of Wands, Knights, and Aces, but now’s certainly a good time for ’em. (It also definitely means business when it comes to negative cards, so, to be perfectly honest, I was just happy not to have pulled the Ten of Swords again. Yikes.)

Anyhow, this week’s card is the Knight of Wands again, and man oh man am I glad to see him!

Last time, I mentioned that my S.O. and I had just finished a book, and were working on ways to turn it into something more than just a .doc file. Good news is, we’re making plenty of progress on that front! Not only are we fixing what needs to be fixed and polishing up what needs to be polished, we’re actually working on turning another manuscript we finished some time ago into a serial of some form. Though we’ve put a lot of thought into this process, neither of us have experience in publishing and none of my market research has been oriented in that direction. It’s definitely a fun learning experience, though! Besides, even if nothing comes of either of these things, I’m still happy just to have made them.

Speaking of which, I finished another painting this past weekend. Photographing them has been difficult because our overcast days have all been rainy — so, while the clouds do a great job at scattering the light and producing true-to-life color while keeping the glare down, the rain isn’t exactly easy to work around. Ah well. As the weather cools, hopefully we’ll have more cloudy days that aren’t accompanied by summer storms. I love collecting summer thunder water and the way the rain washes the pollen from the air, but I miss having dry surfaces!

The Knight of Wands stands as a reminder that enthusiasm and excitement are justified, but it’s a bad idea to get carried away with ourselves and jump headfirst into things we aren’t prepared for. Overall, it’s a very good omen. I’m going to be mindful to do my homework while my S.O. and I work toward creating the life we want to have. 💜

divination

Three-card Tarot Tuesday — 9.10.19

September 10, 2019September 9, 2019 J.Leave a comment

Hello! Following last week’s reading, I wanted to do another one of these with the Deviant Moon tarot deck, The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit deck, and The Illustrated Herbiary deck. So, just like last time, choose the stack of cards that you feel the most drawn to:

Take your time choosing. Ready?

Feather

First, we have Judgment. Judgment is the end that marks a new beginning — unlike The Tower, it is not necessarily an end marked by destructive upheaval. This is a very significant stage in your life! Judgment urges you to make a choice and step into the spiritual awakening that’s waiting for you. Trust your gut feelings, but use a healthy dose of logic to temper your emotions and make the decision that is most in line with the highest good. This is a time of awakening for you.

Butterfly energy comes during times of transition. Like the caterpillar to the butterfly, it marks some serious changes. (This is probably unsurprising, considering the appearance of the Judgment card!) Let your friends, family, and comforting routines be your support through this time. If you feel yourself becoming anxious or frustrated with what’s going on around you, now is the time to develop comforting new rituals to help see you through. Start a gratitude journal, take up a gentle form of exercise, meditate, or just set aside a few minutes every day to have a cup of tea and just get your head out of a place for a bit. Give yourself something stable to look forward to every day.

Mugwort calls us to travel in our dreams. Do you ever have lucid dreams? Prophetic ones? Ones you can remember vividly? Your dreams can hold messages for you that you might miss in the waking world. Start a dream journal and practice dreaming lucidly, so you can unlock the mysteries of the realm of dreams.

This is a time of big changes for you, and you might feel that you’re on uncertain footing. That’s perfectly understandable! Don’t overthink things — your intuition knows more than you might be giving it credit for. Follow your heart (but don’t give up your sense!), create comforting daily rituals for yourself, and listen to the messages of your dreams. You’ll get through this okay.

Shell

Next, we have Justice. It is the card of fairness, truth, cause and effect, and… well, justice. You are at a point where your actions — good and bad — are coming back on you. As long as you have acted ethically and honestly, you have nothing to worry about. You may be at a point in your life where you seek justice; this tells you that it will be served. You may also be at a point where you’re faced with a difficult decision. Rely on your conscience to guide you, and be ready to accept the fallout for your choice.

Gazelle energy is vigilant — perhaps too vigilant. It can be easy to miss the forest for the trees, and miss out on the life you’ve made for yourself because you’re too focused on what can go wrong. Take a breath. Give yourself the chance to enjoy the present. Learn some grounding exercises to keep you in reality, realign your nervous energy, and keep yourself focused on the Now.

Mullein is the hag’s taper, and one of the plants that grows in between-spaces. It appears when it’s time to take a step back and look at the patterns we miss when we focus on details. Everything is linked by some thread of commonality — you are being called to find those threads and see the bigger picture evolve.

Are your actions haunting you, or are you waiting for justice to be served? Whatever the case, you might be feeling a little too antsy and hypervigilant right now, and it’s causing you to zero in on minutia in a way that isn’t helpful for you right now. Learn to ground yourself in the present moment, and avoid jumping to conclusions until you can get a bird’s eye view of your situation. You’ll have an easier time making the right decision if you do.

Bone

Lastly, we have the Nine of Pentacles. Sweet! This is a card of material wealth, luxury, and abundance. You’ve busted your ass to get here, and now you get to enjoy the fruits of your labors (even if they’re a stack of paid bills and not, say, a new Maserati). If you’ve been supported by and relying on others for awhile, relax and enjoy your newfound independence. Treat yourself as a reward for your hard work!

Sometimes, the Nine of Pentacles shows up when we’re not necessarily rolling in dough. It’s important to remember that the concept of money is a relatively new one, but abundance isn’t. It can also refer to being surrounded by the bounty of nature, or other areas of life that are producing an abundant harvest after hard work. No matter what this card means for you, it’s a signal that it’s time to enjoy yourself.

Tarantula comes when you have a decision to make. You might even find yourself paralyzed or succumbing to choice fatigue. You might be tempted to make the choice that’s easy right now, instead of the one that you know will put you more closely in line with your higher purpose and long-term goals — don’t. Now is the time to prioritize your future growth.

White Sage clears the way. All members of the sage family are used for clearing something — from the fiber in chia seeds, to the mucilage of eye-clearing clary sage, to the smoke of garden or white sage. What do you have that needs letting go? Are you willing to follow your emotions here, and release things without analyzing why?

You’re entering a time of monetary abundance, and it can be a little intimidating. With this newfound freedom comes a lot of new choices to make. Unfortunately, it seems like you’re holding on to ideas that — while they may have helped get you where you are today — are no longer serving you. Trust that you’re going to be okay. Don’t be afraid to indulge a little, don’t hold on to the past, and choose the path that will allow you to grow.

I hope this was helpful. Stay tuned for next week’s reading! 💜

divination

Three of Cups

September 9, 2019September 8, 2019 J.Leave a comment

Man, who couldn’t do with some good news right about now?

This week marks all kinds of awesome things — I’m nearly finished with another painting, my partner is starting a new job, he and I are starting a(n honestly pretty ambitious) new creative project, I’ve got my own projects, I have some new ideas to blog, and we’re scoping out some new digs soon. It’s good stuff. I still wish my health didn’t impact things quite so much, but you know what? I’ll take it. If “if” were a fifth, I’d be drunk, and eating a lot of lentils and using a desk pedaler ain’t that bad.

I didn’t draw a card for myself last week. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like I needed to. Things have been okay. I have a lot going on, but nothing that I’m particularly worried about or feel I need more insight into. With his new job coming up, though, I wanted to see what’s around me. The situation is, of course, far more stressful for him than it is for me… but I still want to know what kind of energy he’s going to be bringing home!

I drew the Three of Cups. Yay!

It’s a card of celebration, fellowship, and coming together. Traditionally, it depicts three women dancing together, cups held aloft. In The Crow Tarot, it’s a really beautiful, colorful image of three crows drinking from fallen golden goblets. (Which I am honestly kind of kicking myself for not having photographed when I had better lighting to do it in!) There’s fruit. Everything’s verdant and flowering. Basically it is party time, regardless of species.

The Three of Cups is a card of recognition and celebration for your achievements. The soil is the power of creativity, the fruit is its culmination. Cups is the suit of emotion, and most decks feature figures either happily drinking it in, or about to. It points to fulfillment, happiness, and a time to enjoy your success.

I’m excited to see what it’s pointing to!

divination · life

A Free, Simple Card Reading for You

September 3, 2019September 2, 2019 J.Leave a comment

This week, I wanted to start trying something different. I picked up three of my divination decks, and decided to put together a small reading for anyone reading this post right now. It’s simple: just pick a stack of cards, scroll to the one you chose, and see what they have in store!

Not everyone agrees with doing “general” tarot readings, but I find that they can be very helpful — synchronicity is a thing. If you’re drawn to pick a card today, tomorrow, or any time in the future, there’s likely a reason why. So, even if a free tarot reading is a general one sent to nobody in particular, it can still hold a lot of insight.

So, shall we? Pick a stack of cards. From left to right, they are marked by a moonstone, an amethyst, and a rose quartz.

Now, when you’re ready, scroll down to the cards you chose. Each stack comprises a tarot card from the Deviant Moon tarot deck, an animal spirit card from The Wild Unknown deck, and a plant card from The Illustrated Herbiary deck.

Moonstone

Here, we have The Empress, Hummingbird, and Plantain.

The Empress is the embodiment of a loving, nurturing spirit, surrounded by abundance. She is regarded as a very feminine figure and, in some contexts, can even signify marriage or childbirth. You are in a period of growth right now, and are surrounded by the energy of abundance. If that is difficult to recognize against the background noise of your life, take some time to connect to the world with your senses — go into nature, bring a picnic of your favorite foods, and give yourself the gift of time to experience the earth beneath you, the fragrance on the breeze, and the taste of good food. Remind yourself of all that you have to be grateful for, and help cultivate the feelings of contentment and prosperity in your life.

Hummingbirds have really fun energy, I love them. With Hummingbird, there is a feeling of enthusiasm, creativity, and positivity — though this can turn into overbearing pushiness if this energy is out of balance. Since Hummingbird represents an open, curious, and creative mind, one way to bring this energy into balance is to learn something new.

Plantain’s advice is to rewild. This simple herb, often treated as a weed when it pops up in lawns, is a versatile and abundant source of medicine. Mash the leaves and place them on a bruise or bee sting. This is what Plantain asks you to do: connect with simplicity and the open-hearted, childlike side of your authentic self.

Overall, the advice here is to connect with nature and feelings of gratitude, simplicity, and the fresh curiosity you had as a child. Take time to enjoy the simple pleasures in your life, you are surrounded by them and much more prosperous than you might feel right now.

Amethyst

Here is The Star, Firefly, and Vervain.

The Star is a very hopeful card. It is the promise of a new day that comes after a period of strife. It’s the feeling of new possibilities after experiencing untold hardships. It is hope, wishes, dreams, and a desire to connect with the energy of spirituality and inspiration. Be assured that you’re moving into a fresh period of your life, full of possibilities for growth and happiness.

Oh man, Firefly! Firefly is a burst of inspiration — bright and radiant, but brief. It is the energy of the creative breakthrough, but, when out of balance, it can feel like the creative burnout that turns into a block. Firefly’s advice is, “Creator, create!” Bring its energy into balance by stretching your creative muscles and making something.

Vervain is one of the most sacred herbs of many European magical traditions. It is the herb of between-places, harvested at dawn and dusk, and it encourages you to explore the liminal. Let magic into your life by opening yourself to the possibilities around you. After all, it is in the in-between places where possibilities overlap and we are presented with nearly infinite outcomes. If you had every door open to you, what weight would you be willing to drop in order to pass through?

Overall, the advice here is to embrace the new possibilities open to you. You seem to have come out of a difficult period, and you’re entering a new one that is giving you the chance to experience an incredible burst of inspiration, creativity, and growth. Are you willing to take it, or is the fear of what you have gone through going to hold you back?

Rose Quartz

Here is The Chariot, Cobra, and Rose.

The Chariot is strength. It is girding your loins for battle. It is determination, action, and decisiveness in the face of a challenge. It tells you that now is the time to make a choice and take a stand. If you’re afraid that you lack the strength to do so, don’t worry — with focus and determination, you have what you need to be successful. Assert yourself, and don’t back down on matters that are important to you.

Cobra is a spiritual guardian. They are not ostentatious, they do not command the attention of a room, but they are patient, watchful, wise, and strong. When out of balance, this strength can turn into egotism. Balance cobra energy by remaining humble — give yourself the opportunity to learn something new from someone else, and recognize that there is still much that life has to teach you.

Rose is an herb of duality. It is the soft, silken petals and the blood-drawing thorns, the nourishing rose hips and the choking seeds. As such, it reminds you to embrace duality within yourself. You can be beautiful and fierce, soft and strong. Look at the things within yourself that you perceive as flaws, and recognize that they do not define you — you can still have a whole, open heart that is worthy of love.

Overall, it looks like you are in a period that demands a lot of strength from you. The Chariot assures you that you can succeed, if you are willing to stand up and assert yourself. Cobra tells you to remain humble — you have strength, but should not let your assertiveness turn into an ego-shield of narcissism. Rose says to embrace the contradictions within you. You can be assertive and soft. You can be successful and humble. You can push yourself to succeed without losing the tender, gentle aspects of you.

I had a lot of fun putting this together. To be honest, I was very surprised at how well the cards interrelated with each other. I’d like to do this again (maybe next week?) and I hope you’ll join me.

divination · life

The Six of Swords

August 26, 2019August 25, 2019 J.Leave a comment

Fffffffuuuuh… It’s swords again. Not even a court card, either.

I mean, I don’t have anything against swords, but I haven’t had a lot of positive experiences with them lately, either. At least this one isn’t so bad.

They (though I’m not exactly sure who “they” are) say that you change every seven to ten years. Depending on who you ask, this comes from either a physical place, or a metaphysical one. Some hold that our body cells are effectively replaced every seven or so years — not all at once, mind, but every seven years you can be reasonably confident that you no longer contain the same cells you did on that day seven years ago. Some hold that our luck or our spiritual growth move in seven-year cycles.

All of this is to say that this is a Six of Swords kind of week.

The Six of Swords doesn’t really look like a happy card — if anything, it’s bittersweet. Three people, presumably a family, load up a bunch of swords in their rowboat and shove off. Their backs are to the viewer, indicating that they are leaving, not arriving. In the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, the two seated figures almost appear huddled. It is abundantly clear that this is not a pleasure trip.

Still, that aside it’s not all bad. Interpretations vary, but all of them have one element in common: letting go and moving on. As unhappy as these people might look right now, they’re headed away from the source of their unhappiness and moving toward something better.

Trouble is, they don’t look happy to be leaving.

The Six of Swords is about cutting your losses. It’s letting go of something you might want to keep holding onto, but which is ultimately not actually helping you. Whether it’s a situation, an idea, a feeling, or a habit, it needs to be dropped for growth and progress to take place.

In some interpretations, the Six of Swords stands for healing. I can understand why — these people are leaving a bad situation. Things are looking up, but they can’t see that yet because they are still in the midst of the pain of leaving.

When I was younger, I was fortunate to learn something in the midst of a very frustrating job search. I was underemployed, in a bad relationship, annoyed at my lack of progress, and fed up with the dearth of opportunities in front of me. A set of circumstances — far too long to delve into here — taught me that every chance I was denied was a sign that something better was close by. When I didn’t get the job I was hoping for, it was because the opportunity I stumbled upon a week later was waiting for me. When my relationship finally ended its interminable death throes, it was because there was an incredible set of experiences that I never would’ve gotten to have if it hadn’t.

I wanted to know more, though. The Six of Swords isn’t a bad card to pull, though it’s a bit thorny. But what am I supposed to be leaving?

I pulled Justice.

I have to admit, I’ve been holding on to a very particular idea of fairness. They say the best revenge is living well, but it can be very difficult to enjoy if your enemies don’t know you are, you know? People often talk about a very westernized idea of karma. Rather than the sum of one’s actions deciding their fate in a future life, it’s regarded as a kind of manifestation of “the golden rule.” You do unto others, and life does unto you. If only things were so simple!

I get what the cards mean, though. In this cycle of life, I have to let go of the last nagging part of me that wants things to be fair. Life isn’t fair. I left my enemies behind so they wouldn’t have a negative impact on my life anymore, but, but continuing to live in hope of justice and some kind of fairness, I’m still allowing them to affect me. It’s only when I can rid myself of their influence entirely that I’ll really be free.

We’ll see where this week goes.

Books · divination

The Illustrated Herbiary

August 20, 2019August 19, 2019 J.1 Comment

Note: This post contains affiliate links. These allow me to earn a small finder’s fee when they are used to make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping to support creators and this site!

I promised myself I wouldn’t get any more books, but that was before I saw The Illustrated Herbiary, by Maia Toll.

Initially, I purchased it because it looked like a beautifully illustrated collection of green magic based spells, without a lot of extraneous information. At this point, I have pretty much all of the “beginning witch” guides I could possibly use, and it’s not always easy to find a book of spells that doesn’t use up a lot of space on the basics of spellcasting. Upon further inspection, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it wasn’t actually just a collection of spells and meditations — the back cover contains a pocket with a set of really lovely oracle cards.

My favorite aspect of The Illustrated Herbiary is its simplicity. The book isn’t quite what I originally thought; I figured I was getting a book of spells, each written to focus around a single herb. In reality, this book is much closer to a divination aid… At least, that’s how it’s functioned for me so far. Each of the oracle cards corresponds to a section of the book. After drawing a card or doing a spread, you can turn to the book for more information about the meaning ascribed to the card, a focus for meditating on the card, and a spell for working with the herb’s energy. I don’t necessarily agree with all of the information presented (some of the section on white sage, for example), but it’s easy to use, it’s fun, and the illustrations are really, really cool.

That said, I would have liked this book to have more information. It’s certainly stylish and fun to look at, but it would’ve been nice if it contained more spells, herb lore, or even instructions for creating herbal charms or other crafts. My only real complaint is that, once you’ve assembled the deck of oracle cards, there’s no good way to put them back in the envelope and still close the book properly. (I used it as an excuse to get a new bag from Talitha’s Altar. They make beautiful, well-constructed tarot bags.)

If you’re brand new to spellwork, this book won’t really cover the basics for you. If you don’t need the basics reiterated, it’s a very fun, original divination tool and source of inspiration. I’ve really been enjoying this deck thus far, and have even experimented by combining it with the Crow Tarot and Wild Unknown Animal Spirit decks.

divination · life

Man, the Ten of Swords does not screw around.

August 19, 2019August 19, 2019 J.2 Comments

Betrayal, sure.

I had a feeling my body was going to be what betrayed me, because that’s generally how it goes. The only thing I enjoyed less than being correct about this was waking up so dizzy I couldn’t see, and spending several hours hunched over a trash can feeling simultaneously certain I was going to die and terrified I was not. Idiopathic intracranial hypertension carries a risk of stroke, which freaked me out for a bit, but most of my face was working okay so I figured that wasn’t it. Why’d this happen? No idea — I just woke up like that.

It was frustrating. It was disheartening. It was pretty much exactly what I’d been warned about.

(Enough about that, though, because it’s gross and I want to stop thinking about it.)

I did get a lot of reassurance afterward, though. I drew cards related to healing, cleansing, and optimism. I even saw a tiny hummingbird pause and hover right outside my window, which I thought was pretty impressive considering I live in a walk-up with no outdoor space to speak of. As long as I’ve lived in this area, I’ve never seen a hummingbird here before — if I hadn’t looked at the right moment, I would’ve missed him entirely!

Anyway, this week’s one-card reading felt a little more familiar. I admit, it was supremely weird to pull the Ten of Swords last week. I usually get such good news relating to what I’m up to or things I’m working on, to have my primary deck suddenly go all “DANGER, WILL ROBINSON” at me was extra unsettling. I get a lot of cups and wands. When I do draw something from the suit of swords, it’s usually a court card.

All of this is to say that I drew the Knight of Wands and I’m feeling a lot better.

Wands12 — Knight of Wands from the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck, artwork by Pamela Coleman Smith.

The Knight of Wands is a person (or, in this case, bird) of action, like all of the Knights. This card represents the pursuit of an idea, and the drive and energy needed to bring a vision to fruition. By that same token, it also represents looking before you leap. Unlike the Knight of Pentacles, the Knight of Wands is not patient and definitely not into conservative courses of action.

This card comes at a pretty good time — my S.O. and I finished a book not too long ago, and are now working on what needs to be done to turn it into something other people can (and might actually want to) read. It’s taken a lot of planning and strategizing already, so I definitely don’t feel like we’re acting on impulse here. Rather, the Knight of Wands seems to represent the desire and ability to actually act on the plans we’ve been sitting on for so long!

… I’m not gonna lie, though, I’m just happy it wasn’t the Ten of Swords again.

divination · life · Witchcraft

Of Brown Moths and Synchronicities

August 12, 2019August 11, 2019 J.Leave a comment

Literally minutes after I finished writing the previous, I hit “Schedule” and got up to do my usual nighttime ablutions. I’m standing there, trying to rinse the soap out of my eyes because I am a fool who couldn’t properly use a facial brush if my life depended on it, when something suddenly flies into my field of vision.

“Holy crap,” I responded, followed by a, “WHO told you?!”
(NB: “Who told you” is how I react to pretty much anything that surprises or displeases me, and also many things that don’t. They are good words for when you don’t have any better ones, like when a moth pings off of the side of your face, lands on your mirror, and acts all huffy about it.)

It was a little brown moth. Not the sort of pantry moth I might’ve expected, though it was equally small and nondescript. If I had to guess, I would peg it as a Macaria aemulataria, though I didn’t really stick around to check its license or anything. I said goodnight, and got into bed.

That’s when I noticed that I had a new email alert on my phone. The Bloggess put up a new post: The silver moth. Her post is beautiful — full of love, kindness to a wayward moth that found its way into a pool, and memories of her grandfather. She talks about moths as representations of faith, and sphinx moths, specifically, as omens of death. It made me curious about my little brown moth. It wasn’t a sphinx, but it might be a good idea to find out if Common Angle Moths are omens of anything unpleasant. The timing struck me, and life doesn’t have many coincidences.

In dreams, brown moths are said to represent love and attraction. Moths, in general, are symbols of faith, transformation, psychic awareness, vulnerability, and adaptation, among other things. To some, they are omens of good luck. To others, bad luck. Coming on the heels of the cards I drew, I was at least happy to see that small brown moths seem to be a sign of more good things than bad… The kind of things I need to hear right now.

I’m grateful to the little brown moth that wandered its way into my bathroom. I’m grateful that The Bloggess rescued that silver moth, and I wish peace and good things for her and her family. I’m happy that I have another little message of hope, even if it did startle the everloving crap out of me and then sit on my mirror and look at me like it was my fault.

divination · life

When the News is (Mostly) Bad

August 12, 2019August 11, 2019 J.Leave a comment

So, I did my usual one-card draw, like I do pretty much every week.

My health hasn’t been great lately, which probably isn’t much surprise — stress tends to complicate things, and we have a lot going on. None of it is necessarily bad, to be honest. It’s just A Lot.

So, with that in mind, I inquired about my health. I’ve been trying some new things, hoping for a little relief. What could I look forward to this week?

I drew the Ten of Swords.

Swords10 — Image from the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, artwork by Pamela Coleman Smith.

The Ten of Swords is generally regarded as crappy. How could it not be? In more or less every deck I’ve used, it features a depiction of a figure lying face down, back pierced with ten blades. It speaks of betrayal, which I can certainly identify with — not all betrayals come at the hands of other people. For example, I spend a lot of time feeling betrayed by my own organs, pollen, barometric pressure, gravity, temperatures, and bread.

In short, it’s…
I mean, it’s not a great omen.

No card is universally bad, however, and the Ten of Swords is no exception. Does it kind of suck? Of course it does. It’s also a Ten, though, which marks the culmination of the progression depicted by the pip cards — whatever betrayal and suffering it describes is coming to an end. Are things going to get worse before they get better? Probably. But at least the sucky bit’s going to be over soon.

Not exactly reassured by this, I wanted to know how I could avoid the worst of it. I already feel poorly, how can I keep things from getting worse before they get better? I’m hoping to keep things on an upward trajectory, so a setback would be really discouraging. (Mostly because setbacks generally involve getting needles in my spine.)

I drew The Star.

The Star is particularly interesting here. It speaks of hope and optimism, which I can understand… Dwelling on how crappy I feel right now is only going to add to the stress that’s making things more difficult in the first place. That makes plenty of sense. The really intriguing thing about The Star is its position in the major arcana: it follows The Tower.

The Tower is the card of destruction and turmoil. It’s the utter demolition of old things that makes room for the new. It’s a period of tremendous upheaval, and The Star is the renewed hope, stability, and understanding that follows it. In short, things could be a lot worse. I’m nearing the end of a difficult energy cycle, and working to maintain my sense of hope is what’s going to carry me through it. Things could definitely be better, but this gives me some encouragement that there’s still something I can do. (And something I should be doing anyway, let’s be real.)

So, with these things in mind, I wanted to know when. When could I actually expect to begin to see improvement in my situation?

I drew the Knight of Cups. While court cards often indicate a blockage, or something that needs addressing before you can see improvement, Knight cards generally indicate some kind of forward motion. Great! Progress! I didn’t get a definite time this time, but still!

… I still wanted to know when though. At times like this, phrasing can be important. “When?” is generic — it can be any point in time. It could be after you recognize something the card is trying to tell you, you meet the person the card describes, or you learn a lesson the card is trying to give. Asking when, and nothing more, will not always yield an exact date. I should’ve known better… So, I asked how long from now I could expect to feel some improvement.

I drew the King of Wands. Have you ever experienced the decided feeling that your cards are great at telling you things you already know, but don’t really want to acknowledge that you already know?
I get that a lot.
In this case, the King of Wands in my deck is a confirmation that success will come with focused effort. I can’t look at my healing as a passive thing that’s going to happen to me, or something that will come with metaphysical work alone. It’s difficult to do the things I know I need to do in order to feel even marginally better, but there is no alternative. Even if I’m not experiencing any great benefits from a new treatment, gratitude journaling leaves me frustrated, rigidly scheduled polyphasic sleep is inconvenient, and I leave meditation just as frustrated as I was when I began, I have to stick with them and maintain a sense of optimism. In terms of timing, Wands indicate weeks or summer (though some consider them days or spring — experimenting with your deck can help you narrow down which is more accurate for you).

So, I have a lot of work to do. I’ve re-worked the strict schedule I adhere to, in a way that works better with the treatments I’m undergoing now. (I think most people might find that stifling, but I find it helps a lot with self-care and alleviates my anxiety.) If I can keep doing the work, even through the upheaval I’m experiencing, improvement will come.

divination · life

The Wild Unknown called me an oyster and I don’t know how to feel about that.

August 5, 2019August 1, 2019 J.Leave a comment

Part of being Pagan, for me, is seeing the sacred in everything. I’ve seen some people arrive there because they were raised that way. Others arrive there after a crisis. From the unsprouted embryonic leaves in a seed (tiny, but strong enough to split a rock), to the chaotic force of a tornado, there is a majesty and a power in everything.

I am reminding myself of this because I do not want to be an oyster.

Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing wrong with oysters. Farmed oysters are the most sustainable, least ethically objectionable source of animal protein. They turn bits of sand into pearls. Their shells are neat. They’re not exactly great judges of character, but they could be worse. They are basically questionably sentient water nuts filled with goo. It’s fine.

Still, as I was shuffling my new copy of The Wild Unknown oracle deck the other day, I had my hopes up. What energy would it help me connect with? A wolf? Lion? Maybe a snake?

Nah.

(I’ll level with you, this feels like a bit of hypocrisy considering my inward criticism of certain sectors of new age spirituality — like that nobody ever seems to have a dung beetle or a pantry moth as an animal guide.)

I don’t necessarily not want to be an oyster because I think they’re gross or boring, mind. They remind me of a sinus infection and aren’t exactly the kind of thing I’d want to hear Sir David Attenborough discuss at length, but still.

The Wild Unknown describes oysters as patient and persistent, but likely to hide things. They can be shy and withdrawn, and suffer from self-doubt. “When the oyster card appears, it’s important to reveal your inner treasures.” When in balance, oysters are generous and masterful. When they’re not, they are reluctant and silence themselves. To bring things back into balance, making yourself share something helps.

So, tomorrow, I’m gonna share you a thing.