animals · life · Neodruidry · Witchcraft

Beltane!

This past weekend, some friends, my Handsome Assistant, and I went to the woods to celebrate Beltane.

What is Beltane? It’s a celebration of the coming summer and occurs roughly halfway between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice. Traditionally, in Ireland, it was when cattle were sent to their summer pastures. There’d be bonfires, rituals to protect the cattle, people, and homes, and lots of food.

We, lacking both cattle and pastures to which to send them, did stuff a little differently.

Really, there wasn’t a firm plan when we met up. We knew we would do something, but what it was was very much up in the air. One friend was firm about building an effigy. I was firm about there being drums and partying. Other than that…

There’s a saying that getting a group of Pagans to do anything is like herding cats. The larger the group, the harder the herding.

Nonetheless, with less than a full day to plan, write, and perform a ritual, we prevailed.

Friday night, a friend and I went to go look for a ritual site. This was pretty easy, or would have been were it not a) the woods, b) midnight, and c) Beltane.

There’s a fun bit of Beltane lore that goes thus: Samhain is the time of year when the veil between this world and the world of the dead is at its thinnest. Beltane, being pretty much the opposite of Samhain, is said to be the time of year when the veil between this world and the world of other beings is at its thinnest. These other beings are typically referred to as the fae, the Good People, etc. Depending on how you define nature spirits, this could include some cryptids. This is also the beginning of the season when UAP/UFO sightings tick upward.

What I’m saying is that it is either the best or worst time to go walk around a forest at night, depending entirely on what kind of night/rest of your life you’re trying to have.

We managed to end up in places that didn’t quite make sense. At one point, we were convinced that some of the features of the trail had switched places. When I tried to take a pic of the proposed ritual site to show everyone else, all I got were bizarre, blurry, lightleaked pictures that looked like someone ran a Holga through a dishwasher.

A black image with a large, hazy blue shape in the lower half.
Surprisingly, this image was less than helpful for logistical purposes.

(Interestingly, all of my pictures of other areas were totally normal. Even ones taken that same night. However, I did discover a couple of videos I don’t remember taking, complete with music.)

All told, we ended up walking about a mile and a half (2.5 km) and taking way longer than anticipated. I texted my Handsome Assistant at one point to let him know I was still alive, but I figured “I’m still alive” and “We might be lost” were too ominous, so I tried to text him “We have entered a temporal anomaly” but what I actually sent was “we have entered temporal snomaly.” Fortunately, his phone was dead, so he wasn’t subjected to my dumbassery until much later.

Saturday morning, some of us discussed exactly what to do, while others began building. They harvested deadfall, shaped it, and fastened it together with jute. Mid-afternoon, we had lunch (and subsequently collapsed into a small food coma). Later, we played beat-the-clock against a thunderstorm as we wrote the ritual’s speaking roles, assembled the effigy, and put everything else into place.

As soon as everything was ready, we began.

And it. Was. Awesome.

There was a slow procession to the ritual circle. A soft stream of incense smoke to lift the senses and purify the space as people walked in. Two friends asperged us all with sprigs of fresh, wildcrafted mugwort and sacred water.

The circle itself was marked by colorful candle torches at each cardinal direction. We said a prayer, lighting a candle with each line. There were two short, beautiful speeches about why we were assembled today, and the significance of what we were doing. As we started a melodic chant, one friend lit the effigy.

Also, the effigy was an eight-foot-tall rearing stag…

A tall stag made of woven deadfall. It appears to be springing forth from the ground.

… that rapidly turned into an enormous bonfire*.

*It was a very controlled bonfire. It was in a fire pit, and there were fire extinguishers and buckets of water at the ready. I’ve had fire safety ingrained in me literally from the blastocyst stage and most of us have lots of bonfire experience, so everything was pretty locked down.

A very large bonfire in a clearing in a forest.

The stag is a representation of the south and the element of Fire. He’s the figurehead of summer, and this one, in particular, represented the energy ramping up toward midsummer. He’s virility, high energy, and the crouch before the leap into action.

Each of us took a dried corn husk — a physical representation of a gift we wanted to offer the group — and lit it with a candle’s flame. Then, we each added our burning cornhusks, our tiny fires, to the massive fire of the burning stag.

Once the flames reached their peak, it was party time. People drummed, rattled, danced, and sang. I played my mouth harp. We had about five or six different rhythms going at the same time, and it was delightful and excellent. There was beauty and poetry and joy and chaos and fun and even a bonus group of concerned/confused citizens.

(We tried to remember songs about fire to sing, but the only one I could think of was “Fire Water Burn” by Bloodhound Gang and it didn’t exactly fit the vibe, YKWIM.)

When the fire died down, we started the return to camp. One friend doused the remains of the fire, while another attempted to harvest a tiny flame from it. They lit a candle with this flame, and a third friend carefully carried it all the way back. My Handsome Assistant and I accompanied them, watching in nothing short of astonishment as the candle managed to burn steadily the whole way. (It had sputtered and gone out mid-ritual, so the fact that it lit and stayed lit at all was nothing short of miraculous.)

Once there, we lit a new fire with the tiny flame taken from the ritual bonfire. With that, we could still sit comfortably around the sacred fire long into the night, ’til a thunderstorm came and sent us all to bed. (As much as it’s no fun camping in the rain, there was something truly delightful about going to bed tired and happy, lulled to sleep by the sound of thunder and the tapping of raindrops.)

There’s a really big sense of accomplishment that comes with making a large thing, even especially when you get to set that thing on fire and then party around it.

Some of the friends there were brand new friends. Others have known each other for years. All of us come from incredibly diverse backgrounds, belief systems, and skillsets. Each person contributed what they could — food, ideas, tools, a pair of hands — to make this ritual a rousing success and an absolute blast.

Also, I saw a coal skink (Plestiodon anthracinus, which was awesome because they’re considered endangered here), a little brown skink (Scincella lateralis), a luna moth (Actias luna), an awesome American giant millipede (Narceus americanus), and a huge and gorgeous eastern eyed click beetle (Alaus oculatus). So this was kind of a big weekend for me all around.

It’s a testament to what you can accomplish with a diverse group and a shared goal, and I still haven’t stopped smiling about it. I left with a container of the ashes from the sacred fire, a bag of apples, and what’s most likely some kind of fae curse on my cellphone. I think back on saying goodbye to everyone, and all of the hugs, and smiles, and jokes, and excitement that we managed to pull off something this cool, and it gives me the warm fuzzies. Like a tiny sacred fire that never goes out.

Neodruidry · Witchcraft

Beltane with Frederick CUUPs

This past Saturday, my Handsome Assistant and I went to celebrate the first of the fire festivals with the Congregation of Unitarian Universalist Pagans. It was a bit rainy, so outdoor bonfires were out, but they managed to make even an indoor-only Beltane a ton of fun!

There was lots of food, drumming, dancing, and a maypole. When we arrived, we were asked to write a message on two pieces of ribbon — one was a wish for ourselves, the wider community, or the world. The other was a specific wish for an anonymous person in the community.

The first ribbon was tied to the longer ribbons streaming down the maypole. The as the dancers dipped and wove around each other, these ribbons were all beautifully interwoven together in a powerful representation of community, togetherness, and cooperation.

A different maypole, pre-dancing. Photo by Sandeep u2736 on Pexels.com

The second ribbon was placed in a basket, for another attendee to select at random. (The one I picked simply said “joy,” which is a succinct and delightful thing to wish for another person. I tied it to my backpack, and it makes me smile every time I see it. Sure, the person who wrote it doesn’t know me, and the wish wasn’t for me in particular, but the idea that someone out there hopes that a stranger is happy is still a sweet notion.)

I also brought my big tongue drum. I wasn’t sure how it’d fit with the rest of the percussion, but it was fine. A bit challenging to keep up the tempo of the drumming, since tongue drum notes are meant to be sustained, and not very loud, but still lots of fun to play — and my first time playing it at a public event.

I danced a little in the beginning but couldn’t really take part in the maypole dancing. I’m still coming off of spraining my ankle, and, with everything else this weekend held, I knew I had to pick my battles. So, drumming and socializing it was!

After the ritual, I was carrying my drum back to the car when I was sidetracked by an adorable tiny child in a skeleton costume. Said tiny child came up and began bapping at the top of the drum, in the absolutely fearless and unselfconscious way of tiny childs, so I set it down on the floor, sat next to them, and let them play. I showed them how the small metal tongues make the high notes, and the larger ones make the low, and they seemed to have a blast making all kinds of sounds.

The ritual was beautiful, the drumming was high-energy and exciting, and everyone there was delightful and welcoming. It was great to see friends I hadn’t seen in some time (some since the Mabon camping trip) and make new ones. 🧡

life · Neodruidry · Witchcraft

An Bealltainn toilichte!

Hello!

If you celebrate Beltane, I hope yours was a happy one. If not, I hope your May is going well. (Well, all four days of it, anyhow.)

I did a small, low-key ritual at home, to honor the Three Kindred and pray that this year’s metaphorical harvest is good. All of the omens were positive — blessings I really need right now. I had some candles, incense, a parlor palm for a tree, and a tiny bit of honey, beans, and whiskey for offerings. I didn’t have all of the woods to build a sacred fire, but I kindled a tiny one of oak, rowan, and ash twigs. I also didn’t have flowers or much in the way of decorations, but it was enough.

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Someday, I’ll be able to have a proper bonfire outside.

Saturday, I participated in a video call with one of my former teachers, a group of current- and former students, and entertainer Mandy Goodhandy, for tarot readings and cocktails. I had a lot of fun — and not just because it was the first time I’d spoken to someone who wasn’t either my partner or one of my cats in roughly a month.

When my turn came around, I asked a deceptively simple question: What do I have to do to obtain the life I want?

The answer? Learn to self-promote.

I’m, uh…
I’m not great at that.

Let me back up a few minutes. When my turn came around, both Mandy and my former teacher commented on my energy, that I seemed to exude a light. It was incredibly sweet and kind. Also absolutely terror-inducing.

I’m good at accepting compliments in the moment. At the very least, I can keep my idea-meat from short-circuiting long enough to smile and croak out a “thank you.” Inside, however, it’s more like

aaaaaa

spongebob

community

I’ve been working with my therapist about it. It’s slow going.

As you can probably see, this presents certain impediments to promoting myself. I make things, but, when it comes to showing them to other people, I panic. I’ve been taking small steps to try to get over it, but there’s still a huge element of self-sabotage when it comes to trying to attract attention — the one thing guaranteed to make me want to flee in terror.

I can catch a giant spider and let it outside. I can hook a rattlesnake. I can handle a spinal tap. I can take a lot of things in stride.
Just not that.

(Fun fact: When I was a little kid, I used to hide under the stable and cover my ears whenever anyone sang “Happy Birthday” to me. Though I no longer do this, the desire to has not lessened.)

And so that’s where I am. My therapist has tasked me with writing down good affirmations about myself, and reading them every day. (This is also slow going.) I’m trying to find meditations for boosting confidence. I’ve got a pouch of crystals waiting to be charged for self-esteem. At this point, I’d gulp flower essences by the pitcher if it seemed like it’d help.

I asked Lenormand cards for some guidance. They gave me Bear and Mountain. Stubbornness, and dominating obstacles. No secret tricks here, just doing the thing. Damn it.

Still, there’s no harvest without tilling. (I mean, there is no-till farmin, but work with me here.) There’s no reward without toil. If I want to have the harvest I’ve prayed for, I have to put in the work of… riding the bear up the mountain?
The metaphor’s gotten away from me a little bit, but you probably catch my drift.

From my house to yours, have a good week.