I found a small bear in the woods, so I took him home.

April 28, 2025August 20, 2025 1 Comment

So while my friend, my Handsome Assistant, and I were digging up kudzu roots, I encountered a small guy. He was very dirty and neglected — it looked like he’d been left in the mud for the entire winter. There were seeds sprouting in his fur. Burrs. Earthworms. He had a missing ear and most of the flocking rubbed off his nose.

He was, in short, the most tragic stuffed bear that I’d ever seen.

I’ll be perfectly candid with you: I have a terrible weakness for sad things happening to stuffed animals. Those commercials with the teddy bear left in the rain? Forget about it.

When I was very little — four or five or so — I got it into my head that tornadoes were a Major Problem that I needed to be ready for. I didn’t live in an area that really experienced them, but that didn’t matter. If one came along I was going to be prepared.

I was also deeply worried about what’d happen to my stuffed animals. My parents told me that, if we ever did have to evacuate, I’d have to leave them behind. They could be replaced, and there wouldn’t be time to take them with us.

However, what I heard was that I had to be extremely efficient.

From then on, for years, every time I heard about a tornado touching down absolutely anywhere in the US, I’d take all of my stuffed animals, carefully pack them into trash bags, and line the bags up next to my bedroom door. That way, I reasoned, I could grab them without having to stop. It wouldn’t waste time, and I could still make sure that everyone got out okay. That nobody would be left behind.

(And yet, somehow, my parents were shocked when I was diagnosed with anxiety as a teenager. Shocked.)

The author, wearing gloves, holds a small brown and black teddy bear. The bear is covered in mud, worms, seeds, and various other detritus.

So I stood there, holding this dripping, squashed, crusty, almost unrecognizable teddy bear in a gloved hand.

It was very gross, and I’d have to bring him (and whatever he carried with/inside of him) into my house. Still, the thought of leaving him behind tugged at my heartstrings. Also, from a more practical standpoint, leaving him there meant that he’d eventually introduce a lot of microplastics into the environment. Birds might pick at him and take his stuffing to line their nests, where the polyester strands could tangle their chicks’ claws and injure them. I couldn’t leave him behind, could I? If not for him, then for the sake of all those hypothetical baby birds.

“I can rebuild him. I have the technology,” I declared, as I stuffed him in a tote bag.

Restoring a Bear

Fortunately, I wasn’t wrong.

The first step was letting him dry out, so I could brush off as much of the crusted-over mud as possible and pick off the more egregious bits of flora and fauna that had hitched a ride.

Then, I had to unstitch around one of his paw pads so I could access his stuffing. I didn’t trust it, and I wasn’t sure what might’ve laid eggs/burrowed into it, so I needed to pull it all out. If I could clean it and reuse it, great. If not, I was going to have to safely discard it somehow.

Once he was entirely unstuffed, I could give him a thorough wash, dry, and brushing to make his fur fluffy again. It took several rounds of rinsing and a fair bit of scrubbing.

After drying, he was able to be restuffed. I had a bunch of very soft rags that I’d cut from a clean shirt. (Everlane, whose organic cotton poet shirt tore like tissue paper. Feh.) I shredded them up as finely as I could, then used my fingers, a pair of tweezers, and a chopstick to make sure that the ersatz stuffing made it to every corner of the bear.

Once he was plump and evenly stuffed again, I re-stitched his paw pad back in place with some black cotton thread. Et voilà! He was more-or-less back to what I assume was his old self again.

Except for one thing…

A Missing Ear

His right ear. It had been missing entirely from the beginning. I didn’t see it on the ground when I picked him up. From the smoothness of that side of his head, it looked like it had torn cleanly off.

The trouble is, I didn’t have any material that could make a convincing replacement. I didn’t even have any funky material that could work in a “medical prosthetics but make it fashion” way. I didn’t want to leave him with nothing, though.

I rustled up a pattern for a small, crocheted flower and a l e af. Some Malabrigo superwash merino yarn and a Czech glass bead later, and I had a rather fetching flower fascinator that’d do.

I dabbed on a coat of black paint over the rubbed-off part of his nose, and he’s good to go. He’s clean, bug-free, and even has his missing ear (somewhat) fixed. While my poet shirt didn’t do very well as an actual shirt, it did make for some excellent stuffing — firm and voluminous, but soft enough not to be lumpy.

I wish I could say that this is the first time I’ve found a small guy left in the woods and randomly decided to bring it home for restoration, but of course it isn’t. I’m at the point where this has happened often enough that I now deliberately watch for dropped toys and other objects left behind.

What can I say? I’m an absolute sucker for a sad little dummy.

Just for fun

Folk Horror Movie Cults, Ranked.

January 28, 2025August 20, 2025 1 Comment

You know, most folk horror movies wouldn’t be folk horror without a nice, solid cult somewhere in the mix. It helps to have a bunch of naked old people levitating in the woods somewhere to really drive the creepiness home, you know? Besides, most of the Big Bads of these movies just wouldn’t be the same without a bunch of minions, lackeys, or at least a couple of fawning lickspittles.

With this in mind (and having marathoned a bunch of horror movies while swallowing large pills and waiting for my organs to stop hating me) my Handsome Assistant and I came up with a ranking system. We now have the answer to a question absolutely nobody asked: Which folk horror cult would suck the least to be part of?

Please note that this is going to be full of spoilers, so proceed with caution.

Langiva’s Village (Black Death)

Carice Van Houten as Langiva. A pale woman with long blonde hair, in a dark red dress.

As far as cults go, the Necromancy Cult in Black Death is probably the easiest. They’re sort of broadly Pagan, and they live in a pretty isolated location in the woods that’s given them natural protection from the plague. Langiva demands people sacrifice outsiders that come to the village, but “human sacrifice” is kind of the baseline for a horror movie cult. She also comes across as a narcissist, but that’s pretty much a given for any cult leader.

As long as you’re willing to put up with her, you’ll probably be fine. There’s also drugs and feasts with makeout sessions, and the villagers are likely way less racist than the Hårga. It kind of sucks that Langiva’s totally lying about the necromancy thing, but that’s not really a huge dealbreaker in the grand scheme of things (especially compared to some of our other options here).

A-

The Hårga (Midsommar)

Ah, the Hårga. For the purposes of this ranking, we had to assume that we’d met the cults requirements for acceptance to begin with. (Namely, being a) very white, b) astrologically favorable, c) under the age of 72, and d) not inclined to indiscriminately urinate on trees.) Once you’re in the Hårga, however, things probably wouldn’t be terrible for you. There’s food, a beautiful setting, a large, seemingly loving family, and movie night. They also only do the whole “burning people alive” thing every 90 years, so it’s very likely that you’ll go your whole life without ever experiencing it. It seems entirely possible for a cult member to live a pretty decent life with the Hårga.

As long as you’re not their deliberately inbred prophet child, you’ll probably have an okay time. At least, until your 72nd birthday. Things tend to fall off rather sharply then.

Sator’s Cult (Sator)

Sator’s cult gets several points for costuming and does seem to primarily consist of a large family, but otherwise kind of falls apart. Sator’s main objective seems to be some kind of “purification” for his followers, and he doesn’t really make any promises beyond that.

A dim image of a figure dressed in a ram skull and fur cloak of some kind, with a ruff made of rib bones.

I think that Sator may only be debatably evil. This could very well be a case of an old-school, “FEAR NOT,” Biblically angelic-style entity with the unfortunate side effect of sanity slippage. As long as you stay the hell away from Adam’s cabin in the woods, you’ll probably be largely unscathed (or, at least, unburnt). On the other hand, you’re most likely not going to get anything out of this cult other than a really cool mask and the occasional levitation. Not worth the risk of dementia, in my opinion.

Moder’s Cult (The Ritual)

Uuuuugh.

Look, I love Moder. Her visual design? Impeccable. Her sound design? Perfect, no notes. Her behavior? Exactly as violent, animalistic, and inscrutable as I want from my horror monsters. But it doesn’t look like the people in the cult want to be there. Hell, not even Moder seems to be having a good time.

A large monster, silhouetted against a burning building. The monster appears to be a large, quasi-skeletal elk with a head made up of an upside-down human corpse. The arms hang down like mandibles, and the legs rise up and branch into antlers. A pair of tiny, glowing eyes are visible where the corpse's head would be.

Sure, there’s the immortality thing. That seems pretty cool, until a picosecond later when you realize that “eternal life” is not synonymous with “eternal youth.” Moder also doesn’t appear to be too fond of being looked at, so you don’t even get to hang out and enjoy her completely awesome entire-human-corpse-head-on-a-skeletal-half-plant-elk monster design. It’s just an endless cycle of bowing, sacrificing hikers, and waiting to shrivel up into a mummy. Boring.

D-

The Coven (The VVitch)

Look, horror movie cults need to have some kind of payoff. Thomasin signs the Devil’s book in exchange for the offer of a taste of butter, a pretty dress, and the ability to fly (as long as the flying ointment holds out, anyway). While I get that this is more of an indictment of the utter bleakness, repression, and poverty of Thomasin’s life than anything else, I feel like you’re gonna need more out of a creepy cult than condiments, an outfit, and occasional floating parties. (Especially if it means having to lose your entire family and be stuck hanging out with the Devil and his retinue of naked octogenarians.)

C-

The Flagellants (Black Death)

Wading through a freezing cold stream with a bunch of Christian fanatics, beating yourself, and dying painfully of the black plague anyway? Absolutely not. They don’t even have makeout parties like Langiva’s village, flowers and Austin Powers movies like the Hårga, or a cool figurehead like Moder. It’s all the worst parts of being in a creepy cult, but with absolutely no pay off. Hard pass.

F-

Honorable Mention: King Paimon’s Cult (Hereditary)

Okay, it’s not folk horror, but still. King Paimon’s cult in Hereditary is an excellent portrayal and I felt like it deserved to be on this list.

However, it would still be total ass to be part of.

I get that we see them when their mission is only half-accomplished. They’re still hoping for that wealth, power, and bunch of good familiars, all while dutifully shopping for craft supplies and setting up rubegoldbergian decapitation schemes. As far as the movie goes, nobody’s gotten anything out of this bargain despite ostensibly the entire town being in on it for decades.

Paimon's insignia carved on a telephone pole on an empty stretch of road.

Still, if someone’s going to spend an eternity as “Paimon’s sexual furniture” (thanks, Novum), I feel like they’re going to need something more than as-yet-unrealized promises. It’s also not like demons are known for keeping their word, that’s the whole reason why they have so many pain-in-the-ass rules and etiquette. He could decide that you’re next up on the decapitation docket, and then what?

On the other hand, the cake looked pretty good.

D-

Just for fun · life · Plants and Herbs

Meteors and Mushroom Hunting in (checks notes) December.

January 7, 2025August 20, 2025 Leave a comment

My Handsome Assistant and I like to go cabin camping in winter. Rates are usually lower, things are less crowded, he’s got PTO to use up (or else lose), and there isn’t usually much else to do. A change of scenery does us both good, even if it’s only for a couple of days. It’s also nice to experience the time around the solstice like this.

(We half-jokingly say it’s glamping, because there’s a shower, sheets, heating, and a mini-fridge. Either way, it’s nice and I much prefer it to most of the hotels I’ve been to.)
(Even the fancy ones.)

However, while we anticipated a possibly-snowy getaway/creative retreat to work on music, fiction writing, and so on, what we got was… 60° F (15.5° C) and a meteor shower.

Did any of yas know there was a meteor shower? I didn’t. The only ones I usually pay attention to are the ones that occur over the summer here, like your Delta Aquarids and Perseids, and I have been Missing. Out.

I only realized when I was sitting in bed one night, drinking tea and looking out at the forest through the window, all cozy and idyllic and junk. An object, about as large and bright as the brightest star in the sky, flared to life, moved across the sky, and disappeared. I was, of course, surprised — a shooting star without a tail? A “drone” with an oddly predictable flight pattern and only one light? A hallucination?

As it turns out, it was most likely part of the Quaternid meteor shower. This one is, apparently, often overlooked. It has a short period of peak activity and happens in late December/early January, so most people miss it. Also, the Quaternid meteors usually don’t have long tails. They do, however, produce some very bright, striking fireballs. So that was neat.

The next day, we spent the late morning going for a walk. With the weather as strangely warm as it was, it turned out to be ideal conditions for finding some very interesting specimens of fungi and beautiful colonies of lichen and moss.

Unfortunately for me, most common culinary species of mushrooms and boletes make me very ill. (Oyster mushrooms, why won’t you let me love you?!) I also have only a passing interest in identifying them, since my interest is primarily visual.

A photo of a small brown bolete, with angry eyes and fang-y teeth clumsily drawn on. — It has been years, but I am still inordinately proud of this very, very silly picture.

I’m what you might call an amateur “catch and release” forager. I love looking at them. I love their folklore. I love finding them. I love taking pictures of them. Sometimes, I’m even able to identify them. I get really stoked when I find ones that a) I recognize, b) are useful, and c) won’t try to make me yakk everything I’ve eaten since fourth grade. But that’s neither here nor there.

Look! We found cool mushrooms and assorted other little forest buddies!

A starburst of lichen growing amid some fluffy green moss. Tiny raindrops cling to some of the strands of moss like pearls.

I don’t care how common moss, lichen, and little beige mushrooms are, I will be excited about them absolutely every time. Like a person calling their spouse over every time their cat does something adorable, I will never not be endlessly delighted by them whenever I see them.

Several small, round mushrooms on a rotting stump. — A cluster of what are most likely stump puffballs (Lycoperdon pyriforme).

A white polypore mushroom growing, like a dish, from the side of a fallen branch. — A cluster of what are most likely stump puffballs (Lycoperdon pyriforme).

I don’t even need to know what kind they are, I’m just happy to have them around.

Here’s hoping your days are similarly filled with interesting small things.

Just for fun · life

This Holiday Season, Reskill!

December 3, 2024August 20, 2025 Leave a comment

Note: This post contains affiliate links. These allow me to earn a small finder’s fee if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting small businesses and this site!

For many of us, the winter holidays are a time for gift-giving — especially in the US. Even people who aren’t Christian may celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, focused around getting together with close friends and family, eating delicious food, and exchanging gifts. For some Pagans, Yule is an opportunity to exchange gifts as a small-scale representation of the communal spirit necessary to make it through the dark, cold winter months.

If you’re like me, you’re probably into reskilling. This past year, I’ve taken up small sewing projects, Nuno felting, making herbal tinctures and smoking blends, and growing fruit. My Handsome Assistant makes his own mead and melomel. These things have given us tangible things and skills to share within our community, and they’re fun.
For real. There’s an enormous sense of accomplishment that comes with being able to go outside, pick breakfast from vines you’ve grown, then turn the leaves into useful medicine.

This year, Etsy put out their Holiday Hub with a great selection of gifts for everyone, at all price points. I thought I’d make my own list of suggestions focused around cute kits and fun gifts for reskilling.

1. Wooden Spoon Carving Kit – $68

This year, my Handsome Assistant has gotten into whittling (with a gorgeous handmade knife he purchased during Pagan Pride Day). Right now, he mostly strips the bark from branches so I can use them for making other things. When he wants to move on to making his own projects, I plan on getting him this kit from ButternutSpoonCarver — it comes with everything you need to carve a wooden spoon, which is a great project for beginners.

Not into spoons? They also offer kits for a pot stirrer and spurtle!

2. Damascus Knife Making Kit – $100

This knife kit from RazorbackBladeworks contains everything you need to make an 8″ Damascus steel knife, including rosewood scales, brass pins, and a leather sheath. It’s a really nice kit for the person in your life who a) has everything, or b) is very into knives. (It’s me, I’m b.)

This makes a full-tang knife, so it’ll be as durable as it is beautiful and useful.

3. These Nuno Felting Kits – $40-120

Nuno felting is a ton of fun. Using this kit, I started with a length of silk and some wisps of wool, and, after rolling a soapy pool noodle around my kitchen for a bit, have a gorgeous scarf in my favorite colors. It’s a project I definitely want to tackle again — I’d love to use this technique for arm warmers, vests, shawls, you name it. Next, I’d like to give this Nuno felt vest kit a try.

If you’re not familiar with Nuno felting, it’s a technique that involves felting wool roving onto a fabric backing. It’s easy, beautiful, and very satisfying. If knitting or crocheting aren’t quite your bag, but you’d still like to get into fiber arts, give it a try! These kits from EsthersPlaceonEtsy and SurigirlFibers make it easy.

4. Solar Printing Kit – $17

Solar printing uses light from the sun to trigger a reaction, creating a vivid blue and white silhouette of whatever objects you’d like to use. It’s commonly used for creating interesting botanical art by laying leaves and flowers down on the paper before exposing it to sunlight.

This usually involves working with potentially dangerous chemicals, but this kit by ElementalLeaf makes it easy and less messy. It comes with pre-treated paper that you expose to sunlight and process in plain water, but gives you the same stunning results as traditional cyanotype methods.

5. Flower Bundle Dye Kit – $35

Have you seen flower dyeing? This is a process that uses the natural pigments in flowers to create a unique, beautiful, almost tie-dye-like pattern on fabric. The flowers are simply placed on the fabric, then wrapped up and steamed.

While fresh flowers for dyeing are in short supply in temperate areas during winter, this kit comes with everything that you need to create a one-of-a-kind scarf from these completely natural materials. The scarf itself has also been pre-treated with a mordant, so the colors in your finished project will last.

6. Moss Wall Art Kit – $35

Biophilic design isn’t just a fad. As it turns out, living in spaces with natural materials and live plants is better for our physical and mental health. This kit allows you to bring more nature into your home, without the struggle of keeping live moss.

It comes with a frame and a variety of preserved moss, so your finished project will last and stay looking good. It’s a great project to introduce the concepts behind creating living moss art and terraria, and also allows you to liven up spaces that may not be conducive to keeping living plants. Since this project is pretty simple, it’s also good for teens and supervised children.

6. Candle Making Kit – $50

Candle making is a pretty classic winter activity. With relatively little labor, you can create your own candles to bring light, warmth, and cheer into your home. It doesn’t take a lot of specialized knowledge or supplies, either, so it’s a great activity to do as a family.

This kit uses non-toxic soy wax and natural fragrances and contains enough for two candles. Everything is pre-measured and ready to go.

7. Linocut Printmaking Kit – $57

I have really fond memories of making linocut prints in art class as a kid. This kit contains everything you need to do the same — soft linoleum blocks, knives, ink, and even blank greeting cards. Purchase it early, and you can make your own holiday cards!

Once your linocut blocks are made, you can use them over and over again on paper, fabric, you name it. Use a variety of colored inks, or even multiple blocks layered on the same piece to create stunning artwork. This kit is a great introduction to printmaking.

8. Crochet Beanie Kit – $27

When I was little, my grandma taught me a very basic crochet stitch. I’ve been wanting to pick up more, and this kit is going to be my gateway into actually crocheting things.

It comes with everything you need to make a cute beanie — yarn, a hook, instructions, and even access to a YouTube tutorial. It’s a very easy project, suitable for ages 10 and up, but the results are pretty impressive. Best of all, once you have this simple technique down, you can make all the beanies you want to wear, give away, or even donate.

9. Watercolor Beetles Kit – $35

Watercolor is one of those skills that anyone can pick up but takes some bravery to get into. It doesn’t erase like pencil, so it teaches us to embrace whatever “mistakes” we make and weave them into the final vision. Like Bob Ross said, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”

This kit contains everything needed to make beautiful beetle art. It has sheets of watercolor paints in brilliant colors, a reusable water pen, inspiration images, and pre-printed beetles to paint.

Winter is a great time to hang out and focus on building new skills. If you’re looking for a new hobby to take up or just need a gift for someone who’s difficult to buy for, these DIY kits may be just the answer you need. You or your giftee can learn things, sharpen your skills, and maybe discover a brand-new passion.

Just for fun · life

Chocolate Chip Cardamom Cookies (No nuts, soy, eggs, or dairy!)

October 25, 2024August 20, 2025 2 Comments

These chocolate chip cardamom cookies are delicious, easy to make, and suit a number of dietary restrictions. You can even make them gluten-free if you substitute your favorite 1:1 GF flour for the einkorn. The cardamom gives them a unique flavor that pairs beautifully with the chocolate (and has some other unique properties, if you’re into that).

Chocolate Chip Cardamom Cookie Ingredients

Drys

2 cups of einkorn flour (I usually use 1 1/2 cups of white einkorn, and 1/2 cups of whole grain einkorn)
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
3/4 t salt
1 t cardamom
1/2 to 3/4 cup of chocolate chips (honestly, I just throw in handfuls until my soul says it’s good)

Wets

1/4 to 1/3 cup sugar (unbleached, raw sugar if you’re vegan)
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup avocado oil
2 T chia seeds
1 t vanilla extract

Two chocolate chip cardamom cookies on a green plate. One cookie is broken in half to show the inside. Behind them, there's a glass skull cookie jar with more cookies inside.

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375° Fahrenheit.
Start by combining your wet ingredients. Just put ’em all in a bowl and give them a good stir, then set them aside to thicken a bit.
(For our purposes, chia seeds serve as a wet ingredient — they’re our egg substitute. Some people make a “chia egg” by soaking the seeds in water first, but I find that this makes the chia flavor a bit more forward. I’ve found that hydrating them in the maple syrup, sugar, vanilla, and avocado oil avoids this.)
Sift together your dry ingredients, except for the chocolate chips. Add those after sifting.
Add the wets to the drys, and mix until they form a dough. Einkorn doesn’t absorb as much moisture as conventional wheat flours do, so the dough is likely to be a bit looser or wetter than you may be used to. That’s fine, but, if it’s so loose that it won’t even hold together in spoonfuls, add some more flour.
Place the dough by rounded spoonfuls on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for 12-15 minutes at 375°. (I make big spoonfuls, so I usually get about 15 cookies from this recipe.)
Allow to cool, then enjoy!

I love these chocolate chip cardamom cookies with milk (hemp or Ripple), but they’re also really good with a warm cup of spice tea. Sometimes, I’ll even eat one or two for breakfast — chia seeds are good for you, and the flour and maple syrup means these’re basically pancakes, right?

Close up photo of owl with one eye open. He looks like he's winking. — Photo by Jean van der Meulen on Pexels.com

Just for fun · life

Let’s go to the PA Ren Faire! (And get the World’s Best Hat)

October 21, 2024August 20, 2025 Leave a comment

My Handsome Assistant, some friends, and I try to go to at least one Renaissance Faire every year — usually the MD or PA Ren Faire. If you’re not familiar with them (they seem to mostly be an American thing), Ren Faires are basically big mostly-outdoor markets, made to look like a Tudor era village. There’s food, entertainment, and people often like to wear loosely Renaissance or fantasy-inspired costumes to go. They’re a lot of fun, and I’ve found some very cool stuff (and people!) at them. This year, we went to the PA Renaissance Faire in Manheim, PA, at Mount Hope Estate.

I don’t really do a lot of shopping during the rest of the year — I might go to a thrift shop if I have a specific item of clothing or houseware that I’m looking for, but otherwise I’m all about make, make do, and mend — so I save up to get to go a little wild at Ren Faires and Pagan Pride Day. We usually have a list of things we’re looking for specifically. For my Handsome Assistant, this is usually belts, bags, or additions to his costume. For me, this year I was looking for handmade instruments and fountain pens.

(We also tend to buy a lot of tea anytime we take a vacation or day trip. I joke that it’s how I time things. When we run out of tea, it’s time to get out of the house.)

Stuff

A mannequin wearing a unicorn head mask, a blue shawl, purple dress, a leather corset, and a necklace made of a coyote skull. It's standing outside of a shop with a sign reading "Welcome to the Curio Cabinet."

First, shopping at the PA Ren Faire. Like I mentioned above, we bought some tea because we always do. I did also get a very nice cherry wood fountain pen from Denyan Designs (which is currently loaded with Diamine Writer’s Blood).

My Handsome Assistant got a lovely cloak from Up Your Kilt/As You Like It (“Because if it’s not as you like it, it has no business being up your kilt!”). It’s a very nice, versatile olive color, thick and warm, and long enough to fold and wear in a lot of different ways. He also got some new bracers to replace his old, plasticky costume set.

The World’s Best Hat

“It probably fits you fine! Stop flirting with it and just get the hat.”

I like hats. I started liking hats when I first shaved my head and realized that my choices were a) start wearing a lot more hats and bandanas, or b) rub sunscreen into my head every day. Even now that it’s only half-shaved, I’m still very careful to keep the sun off of my head.
(Melanoma is not invited to my pizza party.)

A person in a straw sunhat, an ivory chemise, and a blue bodice and skirt. They're holding a fake nose and moustache on a stick in front of their face.

I went to the PA Ren Faire wearing a sun hat already, like I usually do — it goes with my costume, and helps keep my decidedly not period-correct hair from detracting too much from the “look.”

Then I saw the hat. A black bowler. Satin braid around the rim, with a fringe of tiny teal crystals all around. A wide teal ribbon as a band, festooned with peacock feathers. Teal tulle and a purple ribbon trailing from the back. All of my favorite colors. It was gorgeous, and also looked to be entirely too small.
Still, I kept going back to it. I didn’t want to try it on in the shop, because some shops are touchy about that. I took it down from the display, admired it, and put it back. I took it down again, took off my sun hat, and compared the two side by side. Finally, my Handsome Assistant just threw his hands up. Just get the hat.

So, I did. It fit like it was made for me. It didn’t quite go with my costume, but it was safely ensconced in a bag and I was already planning all of the outfits I’d wear it with. (Like this really cool jacket I got when we went to New Hope.)

And Then I Wore the Hat

We ducked into Oh, Jessa!, a bright, showy clothing shop. I wasn’t really looking for another costume piece, but I’m a sucker for bright colors and shiny things as much as any toddler or corvid.

(Sometimes, I take pictures of interesting color combinations so I can play around with them while painting.)

That was when I saw the vest. It had a ruffled collar that stood up from the shoulders, and a kind of ruffly peplum/bustle/skirt. It’s decidedly not the androgynous, low-key daily uniform I usually go for, but it was also teal, magenta, purple, and gold and I was drawn to it like a moth to a streetlight.

Then I checked the tag — XS. I’m a fine weight for my size, with a decent amount of muscle, but I don’t know of any reality in which I can make myself occupy an extra small. Still, it looked like it might fit, and it did lace up…

“If you’re about a size 4 or 5, it’ll probably fit,” one of the very nice shopkeepers told me. I had my doubts, and it was more than I wanted to spend on a piece I hadn’t planned for, but just trying it on wouldn’t hurt, right?

Go figure, it was incredibly comfortable. The colors were the perfect jewel tones that suit my complexion (aggressively beige, very neutral, greenish in undertone, with a tendency to tan). It provided the perfect amount of support, even loosely laced in a hurry over a very voluminous chemise.

I stepped out and asked my Handsome Assistant to hand me the hat. It was a perfect match — down to the peacock feathers on the brim and the decidedly peacock-like tail of the ruffled bottom of the vest. This is going to sound very “and then everyone clapped,” but three people exclaimed about how good it all looked together. I took the tag from the vest, handed it to the person at the register, and left wearing it and the world’s best hat.

When we got outside, my Handsome Assistant wanted to take some pictures. I was awkwardly posing (I hate pictures), when a tiny, adorable child ran up to me and looked up, eyes enormous.

“I like your costume!”

“Thank you!”

“Do you want a-” I couldn’t make out the last bit.

“Sure!” I was already sold. I probably would’ve followed this kid into battle.

A tiny translucent orange axolotl sitting on the palm of a hand.

They handed me something and quickly ran away, back to their parents. I looked down at my hand, and you guys.

It was a tiny orange axolotl. I think my heart melted and ran out of my body.

(For real, kids don’t mess around and have a very well-deserved reputation for having no filter. A sincere compliment from a tiny child is worth more to me than every compliment I’ve ever received from an adult.)

I did also get several other compliments on the hat that day, which was a pretty big boost to my confidence and overall mood. Assuming that sky burials aren’t legal by the time I bite the grass, I am going to be buried in this hat.

Food

It’s not easy to avoid eggs, dairy, or meat at places/events like this, because food is usually done for flavor and convenience and the majority of Americans don’t really have an issue with any of those dietary components. Just in case, I stashed some Feel bars in my belt bag before we left.

(I also keep a 3″ knife, waterproof matches, a multitool, bug spray, a tick spoon, four kinds of lip balm, a can of Emergency Seltzer, a fountain pen, and two kinds of suncreen in my regular, every day backpack. I am nothing if not extremely prepared, always.)

The PA Ren Faire had more food options for me this year, which I liked — I knew there’d probably be a baked potato stall, giant pickles, and possibly a spot for steamed vegetables and rice, but there was also a place for walking tacos, vegetable crudités, and fruit salad.

If you’re not like me, there’re a lot more options. Giant smoked turkey legs, barbecue, sausage, pizza, you name it.

The only caveat is that pretty much all of the food is cash-only (or uses “Coin of the Realm,” tokens you can get near the entrance). Credit card fees can be pretty brutal for businesses that primarily do a large volume of small transactions — picture being charged $1 processing fee on one $100 transaction, versus $1 on each of 20 $5 transactions. To circumvent this, food vendors don’t take credit or debit cards. It can be slightly annoying if you aren’t expecting it but isn’t a big deal if you come prepared. Also, water is expensive, it can get hot, and it’s important to stay hydrated when you’re walking so much, so we brought our own glass water bottles to refill them at fountains/sinks as needed.

Fun

So, the PA Ren Faire has parades, jousting, and a variety of comedy shows, plays, demonstrations, and musicians.

We passed by a troll sitting under a bit of a ruined bridge, singing loudly. There were two boxes in front of him: one labeled “keep playing,” and the other labeled “hush money.” At that point, my Handsome Assistant’s curiosity was piqued and he made up his mind that we were going to watch the troll show.

A picture of an adorable troll with pointy ears and tusks, in a brown vest and a patchy leather hat with a yellow eye. — Photo credit: Staci Burke. Taken from Hob the Troll’s website.

As it turns out, Hob the Troll was delightful. It’s an all-ages show, so there’s nothing too racy, but all of the songs had a great balance of “stuff kids will get and laugh at” and “stuff only adults will get and laugh at.” My favorites were the song about Fröštïë the Snowman, the Dread Ship Montessori, and a “children’s drinking song” about that juvenile rite of passage: making Potions.

(Side note, when my younger sibling was four or so, he was complaining of a bad stomachache out of nowhere. A couple of hours later, he produced a two-liter soda bottle filled with a mixture of tap water, Pert Plus 2-in-1 shampoo, and the insides of a yellow highlighter and loudly warned, “Nobody drink this.”)

Also! We met a beautiful African pied crow named Goose. Like the pied crow at Pagan Pride Day, Goose accepted donations. What’s more, he’d take the donation from you, hop onto a cash box, and deposit it inside. And let me tell you, this boy was so freaking happy and excited to do his tiny job!

We walked up to the area where he accepted donations, and he was full on hopping all along his perch, onto the cash box, off of the cash box, doing little spins, bobbing his head, all just super stoked to get to do his thing, because doing his thing means treats and praise.

Goose, the African pied crow, being very excited to get to deposit donations.

Also there were unicorns.

A pair of small white (really light gray) ponies, with their manes and tails colored with rainbows and costume unicorn horns attached to their halters. They're being led down a path by their handlers.

The PA Ren Faire was a fun, albeit very tiring day. I wish we’d been able to get to more than one Faire this year, but it seems like everywhere sold out pretty quickly. Fortunately, I’m probably going to get plenty of wear out of The Hat long before next year’s Faire season rolls around!

The author and their Handsome Assistant. He's pretending to eat their face, and they're wearing an exaggerated expression of shock.

Just for fun

Party like a Corvid

October 14, 2024August 20, 2025 Leave a comment

Note: This post contains some affiliate links. These links allow me to earn a small “finder’s fee” on purchases, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting artists, artisans, and this site!

I’m not usually one to categorize myself with a single “core” or “vibe,” but I’ve been described plenty often as Goblin- or Crowcore. Honestly, I agree. My ideal aesthetic is “abandoned baroque theater slowly being reclaimed by an adjacent swamp,” and I apologize to no one.

The trouble is, I also like parties. When it comes to entertaining that matches my crowcore party vibe, I usually come up short. (Martha Stewart ain’t exactly jumping at the chance to chime in on this one.)
Besides, I’m not into filling my house with mass-market goods. I don’t like it when things are too matchy-matchy, and slow decor is my speed. Stuff that’s secondhand, handmade, or straight-up found in the yard? Yes.

During the big Mabon feast, I ended up having to bring my contributions in things like silicone bags and mixing bowls. (Which is a bit less “slow decor and thoughtful consumption” and a bit more “first apartment” than what I was going for.) So, since we’re getting closer to the autumn/winter holiday season, I figured I’d put together a list of Things I Find Cool for Fall Parties.
If you’re like me, maybe you find them cool also.
Enjoy!

1. Nice Serving Dishes

If food is art, a really nice serving dish is like an excellent frame. Not only will good serving dishes make foods look better, they’ll make them easier to serve. One thing I lack is serving dishes, but I found some by CreatingComfortLab that I really like. They’re a Ukranian-American company that makes all of their ceramics by hand, and they have beautiful dinnerware (I like their serving dishes in green or black, around $48-58 each).

A set of green oval serving platters on a gray background. A sliced kiwi and small knife sit on one of the platters.

If you prefer to thrift your crowcore party dinnerware, shops like GraniteStateAntiques have some beautiful vintage pieces, like this Pyrex forest fancies casserole dish. It’s a versatile piece that I really like, and looks great when mixed with newer, handmade dishes.

A gorgeous butter dish in black and beige, topped with morel mushrooms and patterned with multiple other mushroom species.

Nice serve ware isn’t just limited to plates, bowls, and platters, though. I also found this awesome morel butter dish ($65) by SweetArtAttackEllen. This shop has a lot of really fun, interesting designs, like this snail, moss, and turkey tail mushroom butter dish, and this spoon rest.

2. A Suitable Centerpiece

During certain times of year, all you need to do to find a good goblincore party centerpiece is go outside — there’re tons of pieces of interesting wood with really beautiful lichen and moss, cool stones, and fresh flowers. That isn’t an option for everyone, though, but artisans like AuroraMOSSDesigns use natural materials to create beautiful, interesting centerpieces for coffee tables and dining tables alike. Check this one out:

A light wood coffee table with an interesting centerpiece made of wood, moss, dried mushrooms, and pinecones.

Isn’t that gorgeous? It’s only one of many one-of-a-kind designs available, ranging from about $37 to $190.

If you prefer to make your own, you can also find small ornaments to help bring your centerpiece to the next level. I’m particularly fond of these handmade mushroom ornaments by juliecollings — mushrooms often lose their colors and shape during the drying process, but these can give you the same look in a more robust, longer-lasting form.

3. Eclectic Glassware

I like mismatched dishes — it’s much more my speed to have things that go together, rather than match. I also really enjoy vintage water goblets, in a whole array of shapes and colors. I keep my eyes peeled for them every time I go to a secondhand shop, but it takes time to build up a collection capable of serving a group. Sellers like SecondSongHomestead and ValmontVintage have a selection of colorful, eclectic vintage glasses available.

4. Candlesticks

I’m a sucker for brass candlesticks (mismatched, just like my glasses). They’re another thing I keep an eye out for whenever I’m looking through secondhand shops. When they’re old, they develop some unique and lovely patinas, but they also polish up beautifully.

candles on sticks — Photo by Gizem Çelebi on Pexels.com

As with vintage water glasses, it can sometimes be difficult to find specific pieces to round out the look that you’re going for. A nice group of brass candlesticks, filled with natural beeswax candles, is a really beautiful addition to a crowcore party table or buffet when you’re entertaining. If you’re hunting for a specific shape or style of candlestick, and can’t seem to find it, TheCherryAttic and pamscrafts7631 might be able to help you. They both have groups of assorted brass candlesticks, sold separately so you can pick exactly what you’re looking for ($9-30).

5. Candles

Some nice beeswax taper candles aside, there are plenty of other lovely handmade candles that can help set the mood for your gathering. I love this massive toad candle from HoneyHoleCandles (and these smaller ones by LuxArtCandles). I wouldn’t ever burn him — I just want to have him around. LOOK AT HIM.

A person in a beige sweater, holding a large black beeswax candle shaped like a toad.

If scented candles are more your thing, you might want to check out this Witch of the Wood soy wax candle (scented with balsam, cedar, vetiver, sage, and citrus) by MoonstoneandMyth, or this Petrichor candle by ValiantCandle.

6. Crowcore Snacks!

I mean, not for humans. I trust you probably have things figured out on that front. (If not, maybe try this post’s recipe for banana bread — it’s really good.)

These are snacks specially formulated for corvids — crows, ravens, jays, and magpies. AnitaApothecaryShop has a bagged blend for feeding your familiars, while OrganicRawRootsFarm has a whole starter kit for feeding crows. Pair it with a dish of fresh, clean water (they like to dunk their food), and you’ll likely have bird friends showing up in no time.

7. Tunes

The last thing a party needs is some ambience. If you’re into fantasy lofi, check out Medieval Lofi. If Pagan and witchy music is more your vibe, I’ve put together a playlist (that I listen to all the time):

For more autumnal favorites, check out Etsy’s list of Fall Entertaining and Decor picks. Happy partying!

Blog · Just for fun

Cozy Horror Picks for October

October 8, 2024October 7, 2024 J.Leave a comment

I like cozy horror. No jump scares, just a deeply unsettling vibe. The more it blurs the lines between fiction and reality, the better. I like my horror weird, too. Surreal. Like taking a nice walk down a country lane on a soft drizzly morning and encountering something gray and viscous moving toward you that may once have been a deer.
That kind of thing.

These are my favorite pieces of cozy horror, perfect for an October afternoon:

1. I am in Eskew

I am in Eskew is a surreal horror audiodrama that follows the life of a man living (or trying to) in an ever-shifting city that seems bent on tormenting him. Every episode is essentially an audio diary, narrated by one (and eventually two) voices with the sound of rain in the background. It’s very weird.
It’s very unsettling.
It’s also weirdly soothing.

This series is also complete, so you don’t have to worry about waiting for new episodes to drop.

2. The Codex Seraphinianus

The Codex Seraphinianus is an illustrated guide to an imaginary world, complete with indecipherable writing. Why is the writing indecipherable? Because it’s meant to be — it’s asemic, and intended to convey the wonder and mystery of a child “reading” a book they don’t yet understand. While this book isn’t exactly horror, I’ve included it here because it does create a delightfully unsettling atmosphere — like a discarded relic from a complete, complex, fully fleshed-out world that you don’t understand, never knew existed, and operates entirely differently from your own.

3. Modes of Thought in Anterran Literature

This is another audiodrama, and it’s just delightful. It’s delivered as a series of lectures (and some assorted other recordings here and there) given by a professor who was once a big name in classical studies, but seems to have gone off the deep end. Upon getting tenure and the permission to teach one class of his choosing, he created “Modes of Thought in Anterran Literature” — a class dedicated to analyzing the literature of a long-dead society.

Anterra is also the world’s oldest civilization, tens of thousands of years older than any other recorded society. It was completely unknown until a Chinese submarine sank in the Pacific, coming to rest nearly on top of an Anterran city.

The character of the unnamed professor is engaging, but also soothing enough to make this a decent podcast to sleep to. There are virtually no jumpscares here — just the creeping dread of uncovering the secrets of a dead civilization, including what caused them to mysteriously collapse.

4. The Magnus Archives

The Magnus Archives is an episodic horror anthology, though all of the stories are connected by common threads. The Magnus Institute is an organization dedicated to studying the bizarre. Jonathan Sims, the Institute’s new head archivist, sits down to convert hundreds of written records to audio and, when necessary, add follow-up notes based on research by his team.

Individually, the stories are spooky enough. Once you get deep enough in, a bigger, much more frightening picture starts to emerge.

5. Welcome to Night Vale

Night Vale is a sleepy desert town with some… interesting characteristics. Welcome to Night Vale is an audiodrama in the form of a nightly news show. Hosted by the very soothing-voiced Cecil, it blends the surreal and the macabre with the everyday.

I first got into Night Vale when I was living in California, shortly after being diagnosed with intracranial hypertension. I was severely disabled at the time, unable to leave the house (or bed, most days). Night Vale kept me company, kept me entertained, and provided the perfect blend of humor, horror, and relaxation that I needed.

6. Junji Ito’s Cat Diary: Yon & Mu

Yon and Mu are two cats owned by renowned horror manga artist Junji Ito and his wife. The cat diary details Ito’s life as he adjusts to living with two cats — but, because it’s him, the illustrations are hilariously unsettling. He uses exaggerated horror to illustrate some of the most mundane aspects of living with a cat, and the end result is often more funny and heartwarming than frightening.

7. Weeping Cedars

Weeping Cedars is an audiodrama in the form of a documentary on the small upstate New York town of Weeping Cedars. It’s the site of more than its share of group violence and hysteria, but that’s not the strangest part. The town also seems to just sort of “forget” all of these tragedies, so nobody notices that things have developed a strangely cyclical — possibly even predictable — pattern.

The documentarians try to uncover the lost secrets behind these events, but is it too late? Can they do more than just sit and watch as things continue to unravel?

8. The Last Movie

The Last Movie is an audiodrama set in the same universe as Tanis (one I probably would also recommend, but sadly not beyond the first season or so). Nic Silver and MK investigate the existence of an underground — and possibly cursed — movie.

It’s short, self-contained, and very good if (like me) you’re a fan of cursed media.

9. The Dark Pool

The Dark Pool is another audiodrama, this time set in Maryland. A college professor and a group of students engage in a series of meditation exercises, and record their follow-up conversations. However, as the series goes on, it becomes terrifyingly apparent that there’s a lot more going on than just learning to quiet the mind. As the experiment continues, they begin experiencing bizarre phenomena. Will they be able to break free, or have they already gotten the attention of something they can’t escape?

Here’s hoping your autumn is equal parts cozy and strange!

Just for fun · life

I had an aura photograph done (and it is very blue).

August 27, 2024August 26, 2024 J.1 Comment

So, my handsome assistant and I recently went to a small psychic fair. I’d never been to one before, so I figured a little, local one was the way to go. When I say “little,” I do mean little — there were only a few vendors and not many guests, so we had the opportunity to really browse and take in all of the artwork, mineral specimens, and assorted other good stuff without having to maneuver around crowds or budget our limited time between dozens of booths.

One booth offered aura photography. This isn’t something I’ve ever put stock in, but it was something I’ve nevertheless been curious about. Getting an aura photograph also feels almost like a rite of passage — if you’re inclined to go to psychic fairs and such in the first place, then you’re probably going to end up getting an aura photograph at some point.

The process was simple: Sit, breathe, relax, put your hand on a set of sensors, and get your photo taken. Quick, simple, and totally non-denominational and non-invasive. It’s like getting your birth chart done, but with more technology.

Auras are luminous fields of often-colorful energy around every living thing. According to some, the colors of these fields correspond to one’s personality, outlook, mood, and even physical health. The brightness, shape, and colors of auras are generally invisible to the majority of people, though some practitioners of various new age arts claim to be able to see them and there are several different techniques to train one’s eyes and mind to pick up on auras. Aura photography purports to capture this energy field and create a visual representation that anyone can see.

Once your aura photo’s done, you get a breakdown of the colors, their significance, and, depending on the photographer and their respective setup, a breakdown of your various other energetic characteristics. I got a very detailed report of my different energy centers, balance of yin/yang energy, and energy fluctuations.

In my case, my aura was primarily indigo, with some neat blue-greens at my head and feet, and pinks/purples at either side.

It would probably be a bit navel-gazey and not super helpful to do a deep dive into my own specific energy stuff, so I’ll refrain from doing so here. Suffice to say, it was intriguing enough for me to give it a deeper look. Not only did I read the full report (which was honestly eerily accurate), I also went looking for more answers.

Mainly answers to one question in particular:

So how does aura photography even work?

The “photography” bit is somewhat of a misnomer. The photograph of you isn’t where the information comes from — it’s mostly an aid for visualization. Instead, the actual info comes from the hand sensors.

This is in contrast to Kirlian photography, which is something completely else (and something I haven’t tried yet).

The hand sensors themselves pick up multiple different things. They’re essentially biofeedback electrodes, picking up on things like temperature, heart rate, and skin conductivity. The idea behind aura photography is that these factors are impacted by one’s energy meridians and flow, so the machine can extrapolate information about your aura from the data the sensors collect.

Once the hand sensors have picked up the information they need, the accompanying software renders it into a colorful image as seen above. These colors are superimposed on the photograph of you, and there you have it — your aura photograph.

(I did not include the actual photo of me and my aura, because it was humid and I was a sweaty mess. You get a rainbow egg and human silhouette instead.)

Is it real?

I mean, auras are very subjective. I’m not one to engage in solipsism, but you can never know if other people are seeing the same things you do. Even looking at something that should be objective, like a painted wall, can yield dramatically different interpretations. What you see as blue, someone else may see as aqua, cerulean, or cobalt. Someone else may only see a shade of gray or interpret it as a completely different color.

Skeptics say that auras are a fake idea. Believers say that’s wrong, and auras are absolutely real. There’s no way to completely, objectively prove either, so it’s kind of a choose-your-own-adventure thing.

Go to two aura readers, and you’re very, very likely to hear two different interpretations. People’s auras are also in flux. Even the most accurate reading or photo, therefore, will only be able to tell you how things look right now.

Would I plan my life around the results of an aura photograph? No. Did I nonetheless find the experience valuable? Yes.

How are aura photographs useful?

To me, aura photographs are useful just like many forms of divination are useful: They give you another angle from which to consider things. Since the information they present has a degree of randomness (or, at the very least, is based on input you can’t really control), they’re unlikely to present you with information that you’ve already thought of yourself.

It’s like when life coaches, counselors, and such started introducing tarot readings into their practices. This isn’t because tarot is necessarily a diagnostic or treatment tool. It’s because it’s a great way to get a new, unbiased angle from which to look at a situation. For example, if you’re having career problems and you keep pulling cards from the suit of Cups, you may start to recognize emotional or relationship aspects of your problems that you never considered before. It’s something that takes in a bit of chaos and spits out a new way to look at things.

This is what aura photography did for me. Seeing alleged weak spots led me to read about traditional methods for remedying these things. If nothing else, it has me adding more variety to my diet, trying new exercises, exploring different methods of meditation, and checking out different perfumes and colognes. Worst case scenario, I come out of this experience with some new recipes and activities that I enjoy.

That said, this shouldn’t be used to diagnose or monitor physical or mental illnesses. Some people claim that they can do so using various aura reading techniques, but these claims are dubious at best. By all means, combine energy healing with more conventional treatments, just don’t expect aura reading or photography to give you an accurate diagnosis. Get a second (and maybe a third or fourth) opinion from a doctor.

Would I do this again? Almost definitely! It was interesting and, like I said, surprisingly accurate at times. It’s something I could see doing every few years or so, as a way to mix things up and discover new angles to explore.

Just for fun · life

Double Chocolate Cookies (and they’re egg-, dairy-, and refined sugar-free!)

February 13, 2024February 13, 2024 J.Leave a comment

Hello! I had a minor surgery yesterday. (No worries, my awesome Handsome Assistant is taking excellent care of me, I have fantastic lentil soup from one of my favorite spots, and I’m recovering well.) So, in lieu of a longer blog post, here is a recipe for very tasty vegan double chocolate cookies. They’re rich, they’re fudgy, and the maple syrup gives the flavor a bit of added depth.

A glass mug of pea milk and three double chocolate cookies, on a green stoneware plate.

Ingredients

Dry:

1 3/4 cups einkorn flour (or, if you prefer, 1 1/4 cup white einkorn, and 1/2 cup whole grain einkorn)
1/4 cup cocoa or cacao powder
2 tablespoons ground flax seed
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup dairy-free chocolate chips (I like the 72% cacao ones from Trader Joe’s)

This recipe works best as written, but you can use regular wheat flour instead of einkorn. If you do so, you may wish to increase the wet ingredients a little as einkorn flour tends to require less moisture than regular flour. You can also compensate by combining the 2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed with 4 tablespoons of water, allowing it to sit and thicken, then mixing it with the other wet ingredients. I don’t know how well this recipe plays with oat, almond, or gluten free flour blends, but, as long as the consistency isn’t too dry or goopy, you should be okay.

Wet:

1/2 cup avocado oil (not extra virgin — extra virgin has a stronger flavor)
1/2 cup + 1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla

Double chocolate cookie dough in a stand mixer.

Directions

Preheat your oven to 350°F (176°C).
Sift flour into a large mixing bowl.
Add remaining dry ingredients and whisk together until well combined.
Combine wet ingredients in a separate bowl. They won’t cream the way butter and sugar do, but that’s okay! Mix them together as best as you can using a whisk or fork.
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry. Mix together either by hand or using a mixer.
Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet. (Depending on how large you make your spoonfuls, you should end up with 15-18 cookies).
Bake for 13-15 minutes.
Allow to cool, then enjoy!